Let down by her GP, rushed into an abortion with no three-day wait: the future our government wants?

Last month, the Dáil passed a bill to abolish the mandatory three-day waiting period before an abortion. The bill was brought forward by Sinn Féin, however it was not the first attempt by politicians in government to remove the three day wait — previously, in April, Social Democrats brought forward a similar bill, which was rejected. 

In the Dáil debates, pro-life politicians inquired as to whether any of those present, who are so eager to remove this minimal safeguard introduced with the 2018 abortion legislation, spoke to a single woman who continued her pregnancy as a result of the three day wait. The answer?

No.

Not one. 

Below, you can read the real-life story of one Irish woman who was failed by the Irish abortion regime and feels denied her right to the 3 day period to reflect. The question that must be asked is - if Sinn Féin’s bill becomes law with Micheál Martin’s support, how many more of these cases will we see?

TDs who want to remove the 3-day wait are blindly following the so-called “abortion review” in its callous indifference to not only the unborn child, and also rejecting and invalidating every single woman who has experienced the crushing, enduring regret after an abortion.

Sinn Féin’s bill, voted through by 86 votes to 70, backed by both Taoiseach Micheál Martin and Tánaiste Simon Harris, will have one most likely outcome - send our already already spiraling abortion rate even higher. To the politicians supporting this measure, the already horrific outcomes of the 2018 legislation - over 65,000 unborn babies killed in the womb, 108 babies surviving abortions and being left to die, bodies of aborted babies being flushed down toilets as per HSE guidelines -seem to mean absolutely nothing. What sounds like the premise of a horror movie to an ordinary person doesn’t cause them any lack of sleep — despite their culpability. Water off a duck’s back. 

It doesn’t take a genius to realise that the three day waiting period benefits women. This is backed by data from the HSE themselves, who reported that over 10,000 women did not return for their second appointment after waiting the mandatory three days after their initial consultation regarding an abortion. It’s not rocket science: when you are about to make a life-altering, irreversible decision, you need time to think.

Many women who are seeking abortions are often making a decision while in a state of panic, despite attempts by individuals on the far-left to push a narrative that aborting your unborn child is no different to getting a tooth removed. They are also often doing so in a state of anxiety and fear. It is not ‘paternalistic’ or ‘misogynistic’ to insist that there be a safeguard here, a mandatory cooling-off period to allow for reflection. 

Every single one of us has experienced, on occasion, negative consequences as a result of a decision made in haste and panic. Apparently, our government thinks nothing of adding the ending of your own child’s life to this list.

Our government turns their back on the women who were let down in the worst way imaginable. Women who needed real support and actual help — not abortion.

Róisín* is one of these women. She rang her GP seeking an abortion and had an appointment made for the following day. During this appointment, not only was Róisín not made aware of the mandatory three-day wait — she was given the first abortion pill then and there. No questions asked. 

Below is an exclusive interview with Róisín. Her story should serve as a serious warning to all those in government who are recklessly pushing forward with plans to scrap the three day waiting period: it will inevitably lead to many more tragic cases like this.

*Name has been changed to preserve anonymity.

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Róisín’s story

Interviewer: Thank you Róisín, for doing this today and sharing your story. Can I ask, why did you pursue the abortion? What was your motive?

Róisín: Just because of the situation that I was in, I didn’t know that the help was there.. I did, but I didn’t know at the same time.  I made a phone call to the doctor, and I had an appointment the next day. I just couldn’t see a way out of it, I already had kids and I was struggling. It was a big shock.

Interviewer: Did the doctor know much about the hard time you were having? 

Róisín: He didn’t care, to be honest. I was in and out of surgery in 6 or 7 minutes. 

Interviewer: What was your thought process the whole time?

Róisín: I just thought it was my only option. When I went to the doctor’s surgery, he didn’t explain to me, even though I should have known myself, but as the professional he never explained to me the aftermath of it — being depressed or suicidal. It will never leave you, you know what I mean? The aftermath of it. It should be explained to you. 

When you go to the doctor, you’re given two tablets. I went in, took one there and then, while he was speaking to me. I had taken one without a thought in my head, because he was just talking to me asking me “how was your day”, acting like it was normal.

Interviewer: Did you feel as if there was any attempt made by your doctor to understand your emotional state at the time, to see what situation you were in?

Róisín: No, I literally walked in, and I did go to sit down but I didn’t sit down. He said “I might as well give you a glass of water while we’re in the middle of doing this”, so he gave me a glass of water and a tablet, and told me to take the first tablet as we were talking. 

Interviewer: He didn’t mention the mandatory waiting period of three days?

Róisín: There was no wait, there were no three days. There was no problem with getting the appointment with him, which was the following day [after making the call to the GP]. It wasn’t like when you go in to a doctor and you’re talking about something in general, and it’s like, “OK, are you sure that this is what you want to do? Do you realise the aftermath of it? There was no feeling, no emotion. He was getting paid to see the client. That’s the way he was looking at it. 

Interviewer: Do you feel that he showed any care for you?

Róisín: No care, absolutely nothing. Now, if I’m going to be honest, if he had said to me “look, there’s a rule here, we need to wait for three days, this is your consultation, now we need to wait it out” there’s a possibility I wouldn’t have gone through with it.

Interviewer: You mean, go through with the abortion?

Róisín: Yeah, even though I was in that frame of mind. With the abortion. Because it’s something you have to live with for the rest of your life… and it’s hard. It’s very, very hard. Because you can’t just sit there and say “I’m having a bad day”, “oh why are you having a bad day?”, “well this is what I did”. It’s not something you can just do, as he [the GP] would see it, go in, get the medication, go home and live the rest of your life as normal. It doesn't work like that. Nowhere near it.

Interviewer: Do you think there’s a possibility that if he had given you the three days, and had said to you “look, give yourself a bit of time”, do you think that there might have been a possibility that you would have felt calmer and better about the situation? 

Róisín: I believe that if he had said to me, “look, you have this much time left, you really need to think about it and the outcome of it” … when I look back, yeah I would have. But it felt like it was normal in the surgery, like it was something he does everyday of the week. Like, it was just normality to him that I’m walking into surgery, crapping my pants, not knowing what to expect, all this going through my head and he’s like “well, how’s things?”. So yeah, I obviously would have my child with me now. 

Interviewer: How did you feel, going back to that time, when he was giving you the first abortion pill?

Róisín: I didn't feel.. because the way he acted was like it was normality. He just gave it to me and I took it without a thought. Because he was talking, like everyday talk. You know? And as soon as I took it, it was like, “okay that's fine, this is when you take the next one and bye, see you later.”

Interviewer: And when you were leaving, how did you feel?

Róisín: Crap. I cried. I sat in the car for I don't know how long, I sat in the car and I just thought, “this is it”. Like, I'm after doing it, there's no going back. I've already taken the first one. So there's no going back, I wasn't even really given the option. It was just very strange. Very strange, the whole thing. Like, I went home and I literally sat on my bed and I cried. Cried. I didn't get out of my bed. Cried. Because I thought, “I just did it. I can't go back now.” 

Because, like, when I was in there, there was no… what's the word I'm looking for. There was no talk about it. You know what I mean? It was just like: he's standing up, passes me a cup of water, I remember it like it was yesterday, he passes a cup of water, saying “Well, how's things” and talks about the weather. And in that process I'm after taking the tablet. And then as soon as I literally put the cup back on the counter, he's like “okay that's fine there, that's for tomorrow morning, take at the same time, have a lovely evening.”

Interviewer: How did you feel when you were leaving?

Róisín: I walked out of that surgery with my tail between my legs, mortified, disgusted with myself to be honest.

Interviewer: That's very hard.

Róisín: Yeah.

Interviewer: And how does it affect your life?

Róisín: It affects me everyday, everyday life. It's a general thing like you don't forget about birthdays, the due-date, you don't forget. You know like when you see your other kids playing, you know, sitting in the sitting room, you’re like “there could have been, there should have been another one there”. If you're having a bad day, then you automatically think about what you have done wrong, and then you put the blame. You put the blame on everything because you can't, it's something that unfortunately you can't talk about. I was suicidal after it as well.

Interviewer: How did you deal with being suicidal?

Róisín: I got counselling through Gianna Care. And I also went to a priest. Now I will be honest, it was hard work. It was very hard work but I'm here today, my kids need me. But the aftermath of the abortion… People don't realise what you see.

Interviewer: And when you say “people don't realise what you see”, what do you mean?

Róisín: You see a baby after growing. It's tiny, tiny little baby.. after I took the tablets obviously everything got emptied out. And it just happened to be that this little part came out by itself and it was the baby. And I was in contact with somebody that was very helpful with me and I actually sent her the picture and she didn't even know what to say. Because I thought I was going mad after seeing it. I genuinely thought “no you're not seeing this, this is mad, there's no way you're seeing this”. But you could. You could see the little fine details - now I'm not saying all details because it was still early, but you could see the format of what it was.

Interviewer: That must have been very traumatic for you.

Róisín: It was very, very hard. It stays with you. It will never go away. Even if you don't see the aftermath of it, it's something that won't go, it's something that is going to be there for a long, long, long, long time. It's just something that you just have to live with. You can't just say “oh well, it is what it is.” No it's not. It's going to destroy your life and the fact that you haven't got a professional doctor there to say to you “Look, this is the outcome” or even give you a leaflet. 

Interviewer: And let you have the time to reflect and think more about it?

Róisín: Yeah. You know, like, there was no time given. Listen, it was me that walked through them doors. It was me that did it. But at the same time, I didn't know what I was doing. You know what I mean? It was more like...

Interviewer: You were looking for help, and it sounds like you were frightened.

Roísín: I was terrified. Absolutely terrified. Terrified. And to be honest with you, I have had a child since. And I look at him sometimes… I'm starting to cry now. I look at him sometimes and I'm like, you know, do I deserve him? You know? Do I deserve him? I'm after doing what I did and then I go and have a child. Do you know what I mean? 

And it's very bad because when you look at your other child and say to yourself that you shouldn't have him, that's a major problem.

Interviewer: What would you like to say to the government, who wants to get rid of the three day wait? What would you like to say to anyone that feels women should not have to wait three days?

Róisín: They’re meant to be saving kids' lives and adult lives, not killing them. 

Interviewer: When it comes to the woman's point of view, as someone who has been through it, what do you think we could do to actually help women in that situation, to give themselves that bit of time?

Róisín: Give more support. There's no support for women that are genuinely struggling. Not even a question asked. And I'm not the only mother either, I know other mothers as well that have gone through the same thing. There's no help, there's no support. There’s no effort to make women aware of the outcome, like, “this is the outcome, this is what can happen afterwards, you need to realise, you need to be aware”. Like give something, give something. There's nothing there. 

And these women that are going to the doctors, they are going there to hear “You do not need to do this. There is help, there is support.” People need at least three days. At least. It should be a lot more. I understand if people go at the last minute, but for the sake of that extra one day it could make a difference.

Interviewer: Yeah, it would.

Róisín: One day could make a major difference. In my opinion, three days should be the minimum. And that’s being honest, because if I think back, I firmly believe if I had a longer time from the doctor, I wouldn't have gone through with it.

Interviewer: It sounds like you were going through a very difficult time, and your doctor had a duty of care for you.

Róisín: Yeah, he had the duty, but he didn't use his duty that day. He didn't care. There was nothing there. Yeah, there should be more than three days. Because, from my experience, I had family there. I had support. So regardless of my family and support, I couldn't see outside the box I was in, after everything I did. 

Interviewer: Yeah.

Róisín: And I was very bad. I was suicidal. But I told nobody because I didn't want the pity party. I told nobody because, at the end of the day, I did what I did. But this was nearly five years ago. Five and a half years, actually. And I'm still struggling. Still struggling. Like it only happened the other day.

Interviewer: It’s very fresh. 

Róisín: Yeah, so if the government doesn't want to give the three days, then they're the ones that are killing people. The blood will be on their hands.

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