Testimony: Rebecca
I was adopted nearly from birth. At 18, I learned that I was conceived out of a brutal rape at knife-point by a serial rapist. Like most people, I'd never considered that abortion applied to my life, but once I received this information, all of a sudden I realized that, not only does it apply to my life, but it has to do with my very existence. It was as if I could hear the echoes of all those people who, with the most sympathetic of tones, would say, "Well, except in cases of rape. . . ," or who would rather fervently exclaim in disgust: "Especially is cases of rape!!!" All these people are out there who don't even know me, but are standing in judgment of my life, so quick to dismiss it just because of how I was conceived. I felt like I was now going to have to justify my own existence, that I would have to prove myself to the world that I shouldn't have been aborted and that I was worthy of living. I also remember feeling like garbage because of people who would say that my life was like garbage -- that I was disposable.
Please understand that whenever you identify yourself as being "pro-choice," or whenever you make that exception for rape, what that really translates into is you being able to stand before me, look me in the eye, and say to me, "I think your mother should have been able to abort you." That's a pretty powerful statement. I would never say anything like that to someone. I would say never to someone, "If I had my way, you'd be dead right now." But that is the reality with which I live. I challenge anyone to describe for me how it's not. It's not like people say, "Oh well, I'm pro-choice except for that little window of opportunity in 1968/69, so that you, Rebecca, could have been born."
I've often experienced those who would confront me and try to dismiss me with quick quips like, "Oh well, you were lucky!" Be sure that my survival has nothing to do with luck. The fact that I'm alive today has to do with choices that were made by our society at large, people who fought to ensure abortion was illegal in Michigan at the time - even in cases of rape, people who argued to protect my life, and people who voted pro-life. I wasn't lucky. I was protected. And would you really rationalize that our brothers and sisters who are being aborted every day are just somehow "unlucky"?!
Although my birthmother was thrilled to meet me, she did tell me that she actually went to two back-alley abortionists and I was almost aborted. After the rape, the police referred her to a counselor who basically told her that abortion was the thing to do. She said there were no crisis pregnancy centers back then, but my birthmother assured me that if there had been, she would have gone if at least for a little more guidance. The rape counselor is the one who set her up with the back-alley abortionists. For the first, she said it was the typical back-alley conditions that you hear about as to why "she should have been able to safely and legally abort" me -- blood and dirt all over the table and floor. Those back-alley conditions and the fact that it was illegal caused her to back out, as with most women.
According to the research of Dr. David Reardon, director of the Elliot Institute, co-editor of the book Victims and Victors: Speaking Out About Their Pregnancies, Abortions and Children Resulting From Sexual Assault, and author of the article "Rape, Incest and Abortion: Searching Beyond the Myths," most women who become pregnant out of sexual assault do not want an abortion and are in fact worse-off after an abortion. Check out the site www.afterabortion.org.
So most people's position on abortion in cases of rape is based upon faulty premises: 1) the rape victim would want an abortion, 2) she'd be better off with an abortion and 3) that child's life just isn't worth having to put her through the pregnancy. I hope that my story, and the other stories posted on this site, will be able to help dispel that last myth.
I wish I could say that my birthmother was with the majority of victims and that she didn't want to abort me, but she had been convinced otherwise. However, the nasty disposition and foul mouth of this second back-alley abortionist, along with a fear for her own safety, caused her to back out. When she told him by phone that she wasn't interested in this risky arrangement, this abortion doctor insulted her and called her names. To her surprise, he called again the next day to try to talk her into aborting me once again, and again she declined and was hurled insults. So that was it - after that she just couldn't go through with it. My birthmother was then heading into her second trimester - far more dangerous, far more expensive to have me aborted.
In law school, I'd also have classmates say things to me like, "Oh well! If you'd been aborted, you wouldn't be here today, and you wouldn't know the difference anyway, so what does it matter?" Believe it or not, some of the top pro-abortion philosophers use that same kind of argument: "The fetus never knows what hits him, so there's no such fetus to miss his life." So I guess as long as you stab someone in the back while he's sleeping, then it's okay, because he doesn't know what hits him?! I'd explain to my classmates how their same logic would justify "me killing you today, because you wouldn't be here tomorrow, and you wouldn't know the difference anyway, so what does it matter?" And they'd just stand their with their jaws dropped. It's amazing what a little logic can do, when you really think this thing through - like we were supposed to be doing in law school - and consider what we're really talking about: there are lives who are not here today because they were aborted. It's like the old saying: "If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hearit, does it make a noise?" Well, yeah! And if a baby is aborted, and no one else is around to know about it, does it matter?
The answer is, "YES! Their lives matter. My life matters.
The world is a different place because it was illegal for my birthmother to abort me back then. Your life is different because she could not legally abort me because you are sitting here reading my words today! But you don't have to have an impact on audiences for your life to matter. There is something we are all missing here today because of the generations now who have been aborted and it matters.
Most importantly, I've learned, I'll be able to teach my children, and I teach others that your value is not based on the circumstances of your conception, your parents, your siblings, your mate, your house, your clothes, your looks, your IQ, your grades, your scores, your money, your occupation, your successes or failures, or your abilities or disabilities - these are the lies that are perpetuated in our society. In fact, most motivational speakers tell their audiences that if they could just make something of themselves and meet this certain societal standard, then they too could "be somebody." But the fact is that no one could ever meet all of these ridiculous standards, and many people will fall incredibly short and so, does that mean that they're not "somebody" or that they're "nobody?"